Arranged MarriageThe Real Benefits of Arranged Marriage Compared to Love MarriageArranged marriage may sound strange in the United States as it is impractical in this country.According to Gagoomal (
Arranged marriage is broadly defined as unions in which people otherthan the bride and groom
typically parents or other family members
play important or decisive roles indetermining who marries whom(p. 5
. Many people assume that an arranged marriage will fail whenthe potential spouse is an awful match; the mate that was arranged might not achieve our satisfactionand the marriage will end up with divorce and disappointment. When I was fifteen years old
my sistermarried a man chosen by my parents. After a year
my sisters marriage ended in divorce. Since then
Ibelieved that arranged marriage is a bad choice. However
after I did some research and hadinterviewed with one of the professors in Purdue University
I found that an arranged marriage hasmore advantages than disadvantages. Now I strongly believe that the arranged marriage is a goodchoice and beneficial because an arranged marriage is believed to guarantee a mate for us
more stablecompared to a love marriage in terms of love
and leads to perpetual happiness.First and foremost
the obvious benefit of arranged marriage compared to love marriage is itguarantees a mate for us. According to Dr Gecas
who is one of the lecturers in Sociology Department of Purdue University
it is difficult to find a mate nowadays especially in the United States because peopleare very busy with their work and have no time to find life partner (personal communication
. This is due to the job prospect as many countries are rapidly developing. People tend tostruggle to ensure their stable economic status in the future thus it is difficult for them to find a mate ontheir own. Meanwhile
in arranged marriage
the future spouse will be selected by parents and indeed
the selection will be based on the compatibility of both adult children (Gagoomal
. Ibelieve by practicing arranged marriage
the incompatibility between the spouses can be reduced. Thisis due to the fact that in arranged marriage
the parents will find a potential partner for their adult
Arranged marriages are those that are organized by the parents or other relatives of the bride and the groom. They’re often compared with non-arranged marriages (which are also called love marriages or free choice marriages), whereby the bride and the groom marry because they love each other. Arranged marriages often come in two forms: traditional arranged marriages (i.e. the parents look for a potential bride and groom but allow their child to voice out their opinions) and forced marriages (i.e. the parents choose a bride or groom for their child, with the latter having no say in the matter).
Arranged marriages have been around for a long time — in fact, they were quite common around the world until the 18th century — and they’re still an important part of many cultures until today. They have been practiced by almost everyone, from royal families who want to keep their power and riches within themselves to minority religious groups who consider arranged marriages as a way to show their obedience and obtain salvation.
A lot of people believe that arranged marriages is a good way for young men and women to find their life partner. However, there are those who are against this type of marital union and think that it impedes on young people’s freedom to choose. To know more about the two sides of this argument, you have to learn about the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages.
List of Advantages of Arranged Marriages
1. They remove the stress that comes from dating.
Many people who date with marriage in mind often end up frustrated because they either don’t find someone who fits their requirements or they end up with someone who seems to be their perfect match but is not ready to get married. Arranged marriages can eliminate this frustration along with the headaches and heartaches that come with it. Since a man and a woman are paired by their parents with marriage in mind, they don’t have to worry if the relationship will end in matrimony or not (because it most likely will). They also don’t have to fret if the other will accept their personality and quirky habits because it’s a given that the husband and wife will have to adjust to each other.
2. They let parents find the right spouses for their children.
Many of those who practice arranged marriages do so not just because of religious and cultural reasons but also because they believe that young people would prioritize pleasure and physical attraction when choosing a partner. Because of this, parents and other older relatives take it upon themselves to choose the right husband or wife for their children and/or younger relatives.
Many parents arrange marriages for their children so they can find a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law who comes from a good family, has an excellent reputation, practices the same religion, and has a well-earning job. They’ll also have the chance to choose someone who has good looks and doesn’t have any serious hereditary diseases in their family.
3. They ensure harmony within the family.
Two of the biggest issues in non-arranged marriages are 1) the parents don’t get along with their son-in-law or daughter-in-law and 2) the two sets of parents don’t get along with each other. These problems aren’t present in arranged marriages since the parents of the bride and the groom meet beforehand and agree to marry their children. Each set of parents also do extensive research on the prospective groom or bride and give their approval before the wedding takes place, so there’s no reason for them to dislike their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
4. They help preserve traditions and cultural norms.
Since arranged marriages usually happen between people from the same race and religion, they can continue to practice their traditions and customs with ease. These can then be passed on from one generation to another and ensure their culture will be preserved. This can be greatly beneficial to children in arranged marriages since they won’t have to worry about which religion and culture they should follow, and they can immerse themselves in the traditions and customs of their parents and establish a strong sense of identity.
List of Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages
1. They limit people’s freedom to choose.
Arranged marriages, particularly forced ones, don’t let young people choose whom they’d marry. This can make them feel powerless and hopeless — particularly if they end up marrying someone they don’t like — and feel like they don’t have any control about their life and their future. This, in turn, can lead to unhappiness and misery and may even pave the way to anxiety and depression.
2. They can result to incompatible matches.
Even if two people come from the same race, religion, and culture, there is still a high chance that they won’t get along well with each other, especially if their personalities clash. Their similar backgrounds are also not an assurance that they would develop love for each other; if it won’t, they’re doomed to have a loveless marriage, which is mostly unpleasant for the bride and groom as well as any children they’ll have. If this happens, they have two major options to choose from: get divorced or stick with their miserable marriage for the rest of their life.
3. They can lead to disagreements within the family.
Arranged marriages can promote harmony within the family, but they can also lead to discord. One reason for this is that the parents and even other relatives become highly involved in the couple’s life, preventing them from fixing issues by themselves and causing huge amounts of stress to all parties. If they bride and groom can’t get along with each other, they usually end up blaming their parents or relatives for the incompatibility, which can strain their relationships.
Arranged marriages comes with several benefits and has paved the way to many happy couples who eventually fall in love with each other and build a happy and satisfying relationship. However, it’s important to remember that not all arranged marriages can become successful and that there are those that end up in failed relationships.